Reid's Revenge
by kickasscanadianmom
Summary: Reid gets his Revenge on the team. If you read "Reid's Big Bang" Then you know why he needs revenge.
1. Chapter 1

Reid's Revenge Part 1: Morgan

Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds, wish I did but I don't

Reid woke up with a pounding headache and a text on his phone from a guy in his Philosophy class telling him to check out you tube. Awesome job he read, didn't know you could sign.

Reid moaned and got to take care of his hangover and walked over to his laptop and saw what his classmate was talking about."What the Hell, Garcia, Morgan you guys are going down along with Hotch for not helping him out and ordering him to sing that stupid song."

Reid walked into the bullpen the next morning, Morgan came in a few monutes later"Morning Pretty Boy,how was the rest of your weekend?" Reid ignored him purposefully as he went to get a cup of coffee. "Come on Pretty Boy, your not still mad, are you? We didn't mean anything by it" Reid snorted and went to his desk opening one of the files and started his paperwork.

Revenge came for Reid a few days later on the plane on the way back from Mississippi. He and Morgan were playing cards. Morgan's ego caused him to make bets that he shouldn't have. It was the last bet that put Morgans humiliation in Reid's grasp. "O.K. kid, I win this and we go clubbing for two weeks, if you win, I will do whatever you want to do without complaint." Morgan put down three queens, Reid had all four aces, winning the game.

It was that weekend that ComicCon was happening. Reid was dressed like Han Solo and Morgan Princess Leia. " Really Pretty Boy?' I am not going dressed like this Morgan complained. "Oh yes you are, you made the bet you pay the price of said bet, unless of course you want to welch on it."

"Derek Morgan is no Welcher" Morgan grumbled and went and changed into the costume. Reid and Morgan arrived at ComicCon an hour later. Reid was looking relaxed and in his element. Morgan feeling foolish and out of place.

A couple of hours later Morgan heard his name being called apparently Reid had entered him in Karoke. He went up to the stage and saw the song that was picked out for him. " I Feel Pretty" from "West Side Story". As Morgan sang his song he did not realize that Reid had recorded the whole thing. After Morgan sang, reid and Morgan left.

"Pretty Boy, I am NEVER NEVER playing cards with you again" Morgan said as he dropped Reid off at his place. It was the next morning that Morgan checked his cell phone for messages when he saw over 100 missed calls and 50 of those being voice mail. Morgan checked his voice mail and heard his mother's voice."Derek Morgan, what in the world has gotten into you", and in case you don't know, look on youtube. Morgandeleted all his voice mail and went over to his laptop and typed in youtube. When he saw himself on video, he dropped his head in his hands and thought to himself, NEVER mess with Pretty Boy.


	2. Chapter 2

Reid's Revenge Part2: Emily

Reid walked into the bullpen the Monday after he took his revenge on Morgan with a smile on his face."Hey Morgan, how was the rest of your weekend?" he asked with an innocent look on his face.

Morgan glared at Reid and said,"Pretty Boy, I will never recover from what you did to me.""AWWW, did Morgan have a bad weekend"? Emily asked as she walked into the bullpen. She was humming "I Feel Pretty" as she went to get a coffee. Morgan groaned and started his paperwork.

Reid sat back and plotted his next revenge, he had decided that Emily was to be his next target. He just had to wait until the perfect opportunity presented itself.

It was a week later on the plane on the way back from a case that Reid had found his chance. It turns out that Emily is a closet Star Trek fan. She loved all the movies both the original movies and the movies that had the "Next Generation" cast in them.

Reid's revenge was then plotted in his mind. A movie marathon and a small wager, who could stay awake the longest. Reid approached Emily with the idea of the movie marathon that weekend since they had it off and were on standdown for evaluations.

"Emily, I own all of the Star Trek movies and was thinking about doing a marathon of them this weekend, are you interested?" Sure Reid, I'd love to, we can start with "Star Trek:The Motion Picture and work our way through. We can watch them at my place, I'll supply the snacks. You can stay over in the guest room."

" But, I warn you, I can stay up fairly late." Emily said with a smile. Perfect, Reid thought. "So can I,Emily how about a little wager? Whoever falls asleep first, the other has to do whatever the other one wants?" "It's a bet Reid, you'll be doing my paperwork for a month."

Friday rlled around and Reid was at Emily's house with the movies. They made it through "Star Trek:The Motion Picture" "Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan" and "Star Trek: The Search for Spock". About half way through the "The Voyage Home" it was 3:30 a.m. Emily was starting to doze and Reid was still wide awake. "The Voyage Home" ended and Reid went to put in "Star Trek: The Final Frontire when he looked over at Emily and she was fast asleep. VICTORY! Reid thought as he put a blanket over her and sat down to watch the movie.

Emily woke up on the sofa and looked over to see Reid finshing up "First Contact". "Oh man I fell asleep…OH NO… "Reid, what do I have to do?" Reid smirked,"Emily, come Monday, you will be dressed like Barbie including the blonde wig and will be singing "Barbie Girl" in the middle of the bullpen.

Monday morning came and Reid was sitting at his desk with his camera when Emily walked in dressed in a pink dress, with matching heels carrying a pink i-pod dock and speakers, she set it up and turned it on. Next thing you hear is the music to"Barbie Girl" by Aqua and Emily signing the song right along with the song as Reid recorded it with his camera. Morgan walked in just in time to sign Come On Barbie let's go party, then start to laugh. Hotch and Rossi stood on the catwalk with a shocked look on their faces, Garcia was also filming it for blackmail purposes later and Reid was smirking.

After Emily was done, J.J. called everyone to the roundtable a case has been called. As they were walking toward the conference room, Emily said to Reid,"I am NEVER going to bet against you again".

Reid smiled and said,"Paybacks is a bitch, isn't it Emily." Reid looked around the table at his teammates and thought, whose next? Rossi, J.J., Hotch not Garcia she is going to be last. Hmmmm. He turned his attention to the case leaving all thought of revenge behind until the case was over.

A/N I don't own C.M. the song Barbie Girl or any of the movies mentioned in this story. Please Read and Review and since I have all the stories written who would you like to see next? Let me know.


	3. Chapter 3

Reid's Revenge: JJ

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds, Santa did not give it to me for Christmas like I asked.

A/N Thank you to all my reviews and followers.

It was A Friday night and the team had just gotten back from a kidnapping case. They went to a local bar to celebrate a successful ending with the best possible out come.

Morgan and Garcia were dancing, Emilywas flirting with a guy that she had just picked up and Rossi was at the bar working on wife number four. Hotch was watching his team to make sure that they did not get into too much trouble.

JJ and Reid were at the dart boards. Reid had decided that J.J was going to be his next target for challenged J.J. to a dart competition, best two out of three. To make things more interesting,everytime J.J. scored higher then Reid, Reid would buy her a shot. They were tied at one game a piece. Reid has bought J.J. at least 4 if not 5 shots."Spence", J.J. slurred lightly "you do know that I am going to win right?, Let's make this more interesting then.""I f I win you have to take Henery to see "Elmo's World Live", but if you win I will do whatever dare you can come up with."

"Are you sure J.J.?" Reid smirked,"I am feeling pretty lucky you know." "Bring it Pretty Boy, Bring it" J.J. challenged.

"All right then let's do it." Reid replied They were down to the final shots J.J. needed a bull'seye to win and Reid needed a double bull'seye to beat her. She missed, but she could still win if Reid missed his shot. Reid lined up his shot and took it. J.J. had close her eyes as he threw the dart. She had opened her eyes just as she heard Reid's triumphant yell.

J.J. couldn't believe it, she had lost at darts… to Spencer of all people SPENCE. "Oh dear Lord, she thought, what fresh Hell is he going to put me through"?

"Well J.J. Reid said, meet me at work Monday morning 15 min. early and I will tell you what your dare is."

"Sure ,Spence J.J. said, see you Monday then. Monday had rolled around way too fast for J.J. but as she promised she met up with Reid at the office early Monday morning.

"Morning J.J. "Reid greeted her, "Ready for your dare"? "Morning Spence" J.J. said.

Reid got up and handed her a pair of "Ray Bans and said, this is part of your dare, J.J. She took the glasses and asked what the rest of her dare was. "Well, J.J., I have two words for you….Gangnam Style" J.J. paled, Oh Lord please, not that.

When everyone comes in, you will dance Gangnam Style for 4mins. And 13 seconds, After that, you can go to your office and pretend that this never happened. Time passed quickly enough and everyone was in the office, Hotch and Rossi were just getting a coffee when they saw J.J. dancing to this odd song. The only English words the heard was "Heeeey Sexy Lady". When they looked up J.J. was doing this crazy cowboy like shimmy towards Emily.

Rossi and Hotched looked around the bullpen to see what everyone was doing, Morgan, and Garcia are laughing so hard that they had to lean on eachother to keep upright. Emily was trying to creep away from J.J. as J.J. kept advancing towards her. And Reid, he had his camera out recording J.J.'s dance. Finally, the dnce ws over and J.J. stopped fixed her clothing, took off her sunglasses and walked to her office like it was something she did every morning. But as she passed Hotch, he heard her mutter,"Damn, Spence. I am NEVER betting against him again". As she closed her office door with a slam.

Hotch glanced over at his youngest member of the team and thought…Is Reid seeking revenge for that night at the bar?... No, Reid is not vindictive…Is he? No Reid is just to nice of a gut to do that. With that thought, Hotch went to his office and started his day.

Reid sat back on his chair and put his feet up on the desk and smirked to himeself three down three to go. He looked up towards Hotch's and Rossi's offices and thought… who next.

A/N I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and I wish all the best to you for the New Year. How about a little Holiday cheer for me and review.


	4. Chapter 4

REID'S Revenge: Rossi

As Reid was contemplating his next target, Rossi yelled down to Reid,"Hey Kid, can you get me a coffee and bring it up to me?" It was then that sealed Rossi's fate. It wasn't that Reid was unwilling to get coffee for Rossi, it was that Rossi is forever asking him to do it for him. Just like at the bar that fateful night. He didn't even try to help Reid, he just laughed and asked Reid to bring him a drink on the way back after he had sung. Arrogant prick, Reid thought as he took Rossi his coffee.

Hotch who had heard the whole thing and saw the look on Reid's face, had put two and two together and went back to his thoughts of the previous day and suddenly he got worried. Morgan on you tube, Emily as Barbie and J.J. doing it Gangman Style as he had found out later that day. OH OH…OH NO, Reid is plotting and getting his revenge. GOD help ME, Hotch thought. Since it was Rossi's turn, he would sit back and watch what Reid did to Rossi and pray that his wouldn't be too bad.

Reid had gotten back to his desk and finished his paperwork in record time, even for him. That gave him time to look up his victim and plan his revenge out. Reid had looked up both of Rossi's ex-wives, their phone numbers and he was a little surprised to find out that they both lived within driving distance of Quantico. It was all coming together in his mind.

Every Thursday providing that they were not on a case, Rossi goes to his favorite club, where they play song from the "Rat Pack" days, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin type songs. It was time to emplament step one. Reid logged onto Facebook and looked to see if either of his ex-wives had an account, sure enough both of them do. Good.

Step two: See if Rossi has one… He does , even better.

Step three:Get into Rossi's account. Reid has Rossi's personal e-mail since Rossi has e-mailed him a few times from it in the past. Now the password…HMMMM….Reid tried the name of his first best seller.. nope. Then Reid thought of Rossi's favorite song,"My Way" and tried that BINGO.. Really Rossi? "My Way"… figures. Looking through Rossi's friends he was surprised to see that both of his ex-wives were friends, even better.

Step four: He sent messages to both women asking them to meet him at his club at 8:30 and 8:45 respectively. Now all he had to do was wait until Thrusday. It was Tuesday today so not that long.

Wednesday rolled around and Reid was kept busy doing a consult for the local police.

Finally, Thrusday. Reid had looked up the address again just to make surehe was right and left work earlier then he normally did. Saying that he was done his work and some of both Morgans and Emily's so he was heading home. Reid got home, took a shower and changed into some plank pants, white shirt, black tie and blazer and the crowning touch, a black fedora.

He got to the club and saw Rossi there already, perfect. It was 8:15. Elizabeth should be there in 15 mins. And Lola in 30 min. Reid ordered a Burbon and did something even stranger, he lit up a cigar since the concept of the bar was the olden days of music.

AHHHH…Showtime, Elizabeth was right on time."David, how nice to see you" Elizabeth greeted him.

"Why, Elizabeth, how nice to see you too" Rossi said in a surprised voice, please join me, if you are alone. Just as the waitress came to take Elizabeth's order and see if Rossi needed a refill "That Old Black Magic" came on. Rossi asked her to dance and off to the dance floor they went.

Wow thought Reid, Rossi has moves. Reid looked at his watch 8:40, five more mins. And Lola should be here.

As Rossi was bringing Elizabeth back to the table, In walked Lola. Talk about polar oppisite, Reid thought, where as Elizabeth was as classy as her name, Lola was, well, for lack of a better word,trampy. Dressed in a dress so short, that if she sneezed wrong, it would show the world her…assets. Where Elizabeth was an ellagant blonde, Lola was a brash redhead.

Reid took out his I-phone 4 a gift from Garcia, and put it on record.

"DAVY" Lola all but yelled "How are you?" Rossi looked up and winced,"Lola, what brings you here?" he asked.

Lola giggled and said"Oh Davy, who are you sitting with?" Rossi quickly introduced both of his ex-wives to eachother, Elizabeth Rossi meet Lola Mitchell.

"Ohh, wife number two huh, Davy" Lola commented. Rossi winced again and hoped that Lola would move on."You don't mind if I join you both , do you Lizzie, Davy?" "Please, do Lisa" Elizabeth said in a frosty voice."That's Lola,Lizzie" Lola corrected.

"How do you know David?, Leanne" Elizabeth asked in an even frostier voice." Oh, I am Davy's third wife" Lola said.

Reid was having a grand time watching Rossi wiggle like a worm on a hook.

"Once again, Lizzie, it's Lola stated in an angry voice. "So, So sorry, my mistake Lorna. As the night progressed the two women got cattier and Dave got more uncomfortable, and Reid, well he continued recording the whole thing.

"Lizzie, I'm going to the little girls room, would you like to join me? " Certainly" Elizabeth and Lola went off together and Dossi heard Elizabeth ask,"So, how did you meet David?" "Oh I met Davy in Vegas, he was watching my show and he introduced himself after wards we ended up getting drunk and married."Lola answered.

" Really?" hmmm."How long were you two married, then?""Oh just two years, Davy wanted kids and I didn't, plus he was always gone." They got back to the table as the song"That's Why the Lady is a Tramp" came on. Elizabeth looked at Rossi and said,"Well, I see the song choice is about right, Lola not catching on as quick as Rossi, finally figured out and started yelling about how it was better to be a tramp then an ice queen.

Before it could breakout into a fight, Rossi got Elizabeth and Lola out of the bar. Reid shut down his recording, headed outside and finished a bit more recording, then posted it on you tube under the title of, Why you never introduce your ex-wivs to eachother, and he left.

Rossis revenge was over and done with.


	5. Chapter 5

REID'S REVENGE: HOTCH

Disclaimer: I don't own CM, wish I did, but I don't.

SSA Arron Hotchner (Hotch to his team) walked into the office Friday morning"Good Morning" he called out.

"Morning Hotch" he heard his youngest team member say. Hmmmm….Something in Reid's voice sounds very self-satisfied. Hotch continued onto his office but when he passed Rossi's office he heard his name called he went into his old friends office to see what Rossi wanted. The sight that greeted him was well, surprising to say the least.

Rossi looked like hell. "What happened last night Dave?" Hotch asked. " I ran into both of my ex-wives" was his reply, and let me tell you something, it was not pretty, It was a nightmare to be exact.

"Elizabeth kept calling Lola by a different names and Lola, well, was Lola." "When I finally got them outside, Elizabeth slapped Lola across the face for some catty remark that I did not hear."

"But the icing on the cake, that came this morning, when I got phone calls from, in order, my editor, my agent, my manager and lastly, my publisists. Apparently, it was all caught on video and posted on You Tube."

Suddenly, Hotch had a terrible thought. Reid, Reid did this to Rossi as his revenge. His sweet, loveable, nice to everyone team mate had just reaped his revenge on Rossi, and he was next. Lord help him.

Hotch had just gotten off the phone for the third and final time. He needed a babysitter for Jack. J.J. and Will can't take him, Henery has the chicken pox. Prentiss can't take him her parents are in town, Kevin and Garcia's anniversary is tonight and they have plans. Morgan is out because the last time he babysat, Jack came home with a new vocabulary that was really colourful and a tummy ache. Rossi would hit the booze in 10 mins. Jessica is visiting her mother. So that left one person, Reid.

"Reid, Hotch shouted down to the bullpen, "My office, Now". Hotch was about to make a deal with the revenge seeking demond. Reid walked into Hotch's office and asked " What's up Hotch?"

"Reid I need your help, and I am willing to cut a deal with you. Strauss just called me, she is calling a budget meeting tonight and it is manditory I be there. I need you to babysit Jack and in return, I will willingly do whatever revenge you have planned for me without complaint, none of the others can do it for various reasons. Besides, Jack adores his Uncle Reid."

"Of course I will babysit Jack Hotch, no problem. We can finish of the Harry Potter book I have been reading to him. But what is this talk about revenge? I'm not getting revenge on anybody Sir, that would be onprofessional."

"Reid, I am your boss, a profiler and your friend and you are, without a doubt, the worst liar I have ever met. In all the years we have known each other you don't think I know when you are lying?...Really?"

"Morgan on You Tube sining "I Feel Pretty" dressed as princess leah, Prentiss as Barbie singing"Barbie Girl and J.J. doing it Gangnam Style and last but not least Rossi's ex-wives club, the complete video collection on You Tube yet again."

"There is only one person that would want to do that to us and that person is you. Not that I blame you for doing it, we all played a part in your public humiliation, so we all pay for it. So, I am handing you the means of your revenge without you having to trick me into it."

Reid was somewhat surprised that Hotch would cut such a deal with him, but, hey, it will be worth it."OK Hotch, deal with the condition that you will protect me for the next three group outtings. You have to save me from whatever plans the group makes that could possibly humiliate me."

The little sneak Hotch thought" Fine deal, I will let you leave early to pick Jack up at school and stay with him til I get home tonight."

Reid got up to leave but before he went to far, he said,"Hotch meet me early Monday morning, I will have your revenge all planned out for you to do, now remember not one complaint."

"OK, Reid not one word of complaint Hotch promised wondering what circle ofHell he will have to dig up from to regain his dignity.

Monday mornig came and Hotch met up with Reid at 7:15 sharp. In Reid's hands was the gaudiest hawiian shirt that Hotch had ever seen. It was bright green with canary yellow flowers on it. A bright pink lei and a Margarita glass with a salt shaker. A pair of black shorts with sandles.

"Well Hotch, you will be singing Margaritaville dressed in this outfit, it will be recorded for any purpose that I might need it for. You will sing it in the bull pen. I made sure that the Ice Queen is out of the office, she does not need anymore reasons to go shooting for you."

At 9:00 am Rossi, Morgan, Garcia and J.J. walked into the office to a sight that they will never forget. Hotch was dressed like a drunk tourist with a margarita in hand singing about wasting away again in Margaritaville as Reid recorded was looking for his lost shaker of salt.

Chaos had broken out in the bull pen as the team was laughing so hard that they had tears rolling down their faces. Hotch finished up his song and said" Remember, evaluations can be re-submitted". And walked away with as much of his dignity that he could muster.

Reid smiled, Hotch did beautifully.

Reid looked over at Garcia with an evil smile. He had been learning how to hack computers from a good friend in NCIS. Garcia's revenge will befit her.


	6. Chapter 6

REID'S Final REVENGE: GARCIA

AN: I am so sorry for the long delay, Real Life Kicked my ass then gave it back to me and then took it back to kick it again.

Disclaimer, Don't own Criminal Minds or the Elements.

It was a beatuiful Tuesdaymorning when Penelope Garcia walked into work. She was dressed to kill. Her mood was as bright as the sunny day.

Garcia was still laughing about yesterday, seeing Hotch decked out like a drunk and slightly colour blind tourist singing Margaritaville. She was so glad that Reid had recorded that, although he won't giver her a copy of it. We'll just see about that she thought to herself as she got out of the elevator.

"Good Morning my loves" she chirped as she walked into the breakroom for a cup of coffee. Reid was there getty his ususal cup of over sugared coffee . He looked wiped out. "Good morning my sweet genius, you look tired, did you get enough sleep last night?" Garcia asked.

"No, just had a late night getting some stuff done" Ried replied. Little did Garcia know what stuff he had gotten done.

Since the team was on stand done, it was paperwork week, time to catch up on all outstanding case reports. Garcia walked into her cave. She turned on her lights and went to turn on her babies… when all of a sudden her screens went blank.

Reid was at his desk watching Garcia's reaction to his prnak on his monitor. He saw Garcia's paniced look when the words'PAY BACK "S A BITCH in multi-coloured sentences and NEVER MESS WITH A GENIUS". As that was flashing across her screens the song the Elements was playing at a level that was progressively getting louder the longer it played.

Reid had installed a webcam and microphone in Garcia's lair late last night. He heard her screaming at him. "Reid, when I get my hands on you I am going to hurt you ion so many different ways, you won't be able to count that high!"

"Then I am going to find the person that helped you and hurt them twice as much"! Reid grinned at that. As he recorded Garcia's meltdown and downloaded it to you tube of course.

Reid had not spent all those nights a Abby's house learning to hack for nothing. He had hacked Garcia and he had hacked her well.

Reid got up to brave his fovourite Tech-Goddess in her lair. He walked into her lair to her computer pressed a few keys and her screens went back to the FBI Logo." Garcia, I did this as payback for a few weeks ago at the bar. Let this be a warning and a reminder to you, I don't get mad I get EVEN. If you ever I mean EVER get me drunk and make me sing again what I did to you today will look like a walk in the park on a sunny day in comparison to what I will do to you if you try that stunt again." Reid said as he walked out the door.

Reid had gone back to his desk and just as he was about to shut down the webcam, he heard Garcia mutter to herself," I will NEVER, never, listen to Morgan again. Payback's are a BITCH and Reid's form of Justice isn't worth it. Reid closed down the webcam, sat back with a smirk.

PAYBACKS are a BITCH my tech goddess he thought, but he was now finished. Reid hummed the Elements as he grabbed the first ofmany files from his in tray and started his paperwork.

AN Thank you all for reading, reviewing, and following my story. This last chapter is dedicated to Tannerrose5 for her song suggestion. I hope you liked how I put it in. This story as a whole is dedicated to Tori-Bird 627 for her help and encouragement. Thank you. My next stories will be a continueation of Propositioning.


End file.
